Understanding Your Nervous System And 5 Practical Ways To Regulate It
- CW Therapy
- Sep 8
- 6 min read
Updated: Sep 18
This post was written by Jaleesa, a Social Worker here at CW Therapy.
Our nervous system controls important body functions we don’t have to think about like our heartbeat, breathing, digestion, and body temperature. It also manages how we respond to stress and acts as our built-in detection system that constantly scans our environment for cues of safety and danger【4】.
The Traditional Way of Thinking about the Nervous System
In the past, the nervous system was thought to have only two parts:
The sympathetic nervous system: Our body’s “fight or flight” mode. It’s like that instant panic you get when you realize you just hit ‘Reply All’ on an email that was only meant for your boss… I know, absolutely terrifying.
The parasympathetic nervous system: Our “rest and digest” mode. Think about it like that calm feeling that sets in after a long day when you finally crawl into bed and wrap yourself up like a toasted burrito in blankets.
The parasympathetic system was largely associated with the vagus nerve. Older models thought the vagus nerve was just one path, but in reality, there are actually two quite different branches that do different things【5】.
A New Way: Polyvagal Theory
Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory gives us a new way to understand the nervous system. It shows that our nervous system has three main states that affect not only our body functions, but also our emotions and behaviours, let’s look at them below in more detail 【5】:
The Three Main States of the Nervous System
1. Ventral Vagal State (Relaxed and Connected)
Body: Helps digestion, lowers heart rate, makes you feel safe and promotes healing【3,4】.
Emotions: Joy, satisfaction, love, curiosity, hope.
Behaviours: Social engagement, intimacy, creativity.
Example: Imagine laying out on a sunny beach with friends or loved ones, feeling the sun on your skin, sharing snacks and laughs, and not worrying about what comes next. Your heart feels light and calm.
2. Sympathetic State (Mobilized for Action)
Body: Heart beats faster, breathing is quicker, and stress hormones like adrenaline flood your system【1】.
Emotions: Anxiety fear, anger when feeling unsafe; excitement or energy when feeling safe.
Behaviours: Fight, flee, or become hyper-alert to danger【5】.
Example: That charged up feeling before giving a presentation in front of a large group. You're on your third cup of coffee, your heart is racing, your palms are suddenly Niagara Falls, and you urgently need to use the bathroom again. A perfectly normal nervous system response.
3. Dorsal Vagal State (Immobilized and Shut Down)
Body: Heart rate slows, blood pressure drops, body temperature cools and the natural pain-numbing effect kicks in【3】.
Emotions: Helplessness, hopelessness, numb or withdrawn; can feel calm if safe.
Behaviours: Disconnection, "zoning out" or "checking out".
Example: When someone approaches you and asks "Hey .... remember me!?" and your brain does a full 404 ERROR... You know you should know them, but instead you freeze, give an awkward "oh... yes... hi" and hope they don't notice you've checked out inside. A freeze response we can relate to; this is your nervous system's way of quietly hitting the brakes【1】.
Above is a visual of these three primary states. There are also three hybrid states that are a bit more complex. We won't go over them here, but these are things we can explore more in therapy sessions to help you understand yourself better.
Why This Matters: Nervous System Balance in Everyday Life
Ideally, your ventral vagal state should be in charge most of the time. It keeps you calm, connected, and feeling safe. The dorsal vagal state should be triggered only in extreme cases of trauma or life-threatening danger【1】.
However, modern life often tricks the nervous system into thinking you’re in constant danger; Work stress, family needs, emotional overload, and societal pressures can push you into cycles of fight, flight, or shutdown mode. This can leave you feeling anxious, tense, or numb【1】.
5 Natural Exercises for Reconnecting with the Ventral Vagal State
If find yourself stuck in cycles of stress, fight or flight, or numbness, these exercises can help you shift from survival mode to calm and connected, supporting emotional balance, stress relief, and healing【1,6】.
1. Diaphragmatic (7:11) Breathing
How: Inhale for 7 counts, exhale for 11. Modify the count as needed, just ensure the exhale is longer than the inhale and your diaphragm moves down and pushes your stomach out as you take in a breath rather than shallower breathing most of us tend to default to 【7】.
Effect: Longer exhales slow your heart rate, relax your body, and calm your nervous system【7】.
2. Singing, Chanting, Humming
How:
Sit or stand comfortably with a relaxed posture
Close your lips and exhale gently to produce a low-pitched humming sound.
Feel the vibrations of the hum in your throat, chest, and head.
Continue humming for several breaths, experimenting with pitch and volume.
Gradually bring the humming to a close, noticing any changes in your body or mind【12】.
Effect: The vibration from humming and longer out-breaths lowers your heart rate and brings a sense of calm【1】.
3. Cold Exposure
How: Place cold water on your face, use an ice pack on the face and neck, take cold showers, or cold plunges【6】.
Effect: Cold exposure activates your body's natural "calm down switch". It slows down your heart rate and brings a sense of calm【6】.
4. Tai Chi
Description: Tai Chi is a gentle movement practice that began in ancient China and blends slow, flowing motions with focused breathing and mental presence. Often described as "meditation in motion".
Effect: Reduces stress, strengthens mind-body connection, and supports emotional regulation, and inner calm【8,11】.
5. Positive Social Connection
How it Helps: As humans we're wired for connection. Being around supportive people fosters feelings of safety, trust, and belonging. Simple things like shared laughter, meaningful conversations, or even a hug send cues of safety to the nervous system.
Final Thoughts
Understanding how your nervous system works gives you the power to recognize when you're stressed, anxious, or "checked out", and helps you obtain the tools to bring yourself back to a calmer, more connected place. Even small, consistent practices can make a big difference over time!
If you're curious about exploring these states more deeply, therapy is a supportive space where you can learn how your body reacts to stress, strengthen emotional balance, and find strategies to feel more grounded and at ease in your everyday life.
Your nervous system is always working hard to protect you. Take a step toward improving your well-being and schedule your free consult today!
References
5. Rosenberg, S. Accessing the Healing Power of the Vagus Nerve: Self-Help Exercises for
Anxiety, Depression, Trauma, and Autism.
9. Cognitive Alchemy. Nervous System Regulation Workbook.
12. Cognitive Alchemy. Nervous System Regulation Workbook.
This post was written by Jaleesa, a registered social worker here at CW Therapy.
Healing from trauma is a courageous journey, and I am committed to creating a safe, supportive space where you feel heard, respected, and empowered. My approach is trauma-informed, collaborative, and grounded in evidence-based therapies. Together we will work to process trauma, shift unhelpful patterns, and build resilience for meaningful change.
I also support individuals experiencing anxiety, depression, mood disorders, and life stressors, with a special focus on first responders who face unique challenges in high-stress environments. As a racialized woman, I value how culture and identity shape mental health, and I strive to create an inclusive space that honours your background and experiences.
If you feel my approach may be a good fit, I invite you to book a free 15-minute consultation so we can connect.
