What Is Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT)? A Therapist’s Guide for Families and Individuals
- CW Therapy
- 5 days ago
- 6 min read
When someone feels overwhelmed by emotions, it can be hard to know what to do. Many people feel stuck in cycles of frustration, conflict, or emotional pain, and they don’t know how to break free. That’s where Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, or DBT, comes in.
You may have heard of the extremely popular self-help book that came out recently called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins. The book already has over 10,000 5-star reviews on Amazon, and many are expressing how life changing the information is. While I (Stacey) was listening to it, I was thinking to myself, okay, most of this is all simplified DBT! And then proceeded to feel pretty smug because I’ve known all these tools for years.
DBT is a form of therapy that helps people understand their emotions, learn new skills, and improve their relationships. It was first designed to help adults struggling with intense feelings and harmful behaviours. Over time, it’s become a helpful approach for people of all ages, including children.
In this blog, we’ll walk you through what DBT is, who it’s for, and how it works. We’ll also explore how DBT supports kids and families, and what to expect if you decide to try it.
Understanding the Basics of DBT
DBT stands for Dialectical Behaviour Therapy. It was created by a psychologist named Dr. Marsha Linehan in the late 1970s. She worked with people who had a hard time managing emotions, especially those with borderline personality disorder.
At the time, many of these clients were seen as “too difficult” to treat. Dr. Linehan believed otherwise. She noticed that these individuals often had strong emotions and didn’t know how to cope with them in a healthy way. She developed DBT to help them feel understood and supported, while also learning new ways to handle tough situations.
The word “dialectical” means combining two ideas that seem to be opposite both can be true. Here are some examples of dialectics: You can accept things as they are AND be working to change them. You can be both dependent on others AND independent. Someone may have valid reasons for wanting something from you, AND you may have valid reasons for saying no.
That’s what makes DBT special. It’s about finding a balance between acceptance and growth. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is all about finding a balance. It stresses that you've got to accept yourself as you are, while also working to improve and grow as a person.
What Makes DBT Different from Other Therapies?
DBT is based on another therapy model called Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), but goes further by focusing more deeply on emotions and relationships with tools for everyday life.
DBT helps people build four key skills:
Mindfulness – Remaining present and maintaining awareness of the current moment.
Distress Tolerance – Getting through tough emotions without making things worse.
Emotion Regulation – Managing intense feelings in healthy ways.
Interpersonal Effectiveness – Communicating clearly and building stronger relationships.
These skills can be life-changing for people who feel like their emotions are always in control, or who act in ways they regret later.
Who Benefits from DBT?
DBT is one of the most versatile therapies, as its practical skills can be applied to many different presenting concerns. I use some of their tools in almost every client that I work with. Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) is utilized to address a wide range of mental health difficulties, such as:
Depression
Anxiety
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder)
Eating disorders like binge eating or bulimia
Substance use
Self-harming behaviors
Suicidal thoughts
Intense anger or mood swings
People who would describe themselves as a deep feeler, and/or who have difficulty with boundaries in relationships, may find DBT especially helpful. Regardless of why people come to therapy, the number one thing they tend to talk about is challenges in their relationships, which is why it can be useful for almost anyone, especially those who've been in therapy before but still feel like something's missing.
DBT for Kids and Teens
Many people are surprised to learn that DBT isn’t just for adults. It can also help children and teenagers, especially those who have trouble managing emotions or behaviour.
Children and teens who benefit from DBT may:
Have big mood swings or explosive anger
Struggle with impulsive decisions
Feel overwhelmed by anxiety or sadness
Self-harm or think about suicide
Have trouble making or keeping friends
Often feel misunderstood at home or at school
DBT helps kids slow down, name their emotions, and learn ways to cope before things spiral. It gives them language and skills to describe what they’re going through and tools to manage it.
With younger clients, DBT often includes parent coaching. When parents understand and practice the same skills, they can better support their child and respond to emotional moments in a calm and helpful way.
The Four Core DBT Skills Explained
Each DBT skill area builds on the others. Here’s a closer look at what each one involves:
Mindfulness
Mindfulness is about paying attention to the present moment without judgment. In DBT, this might mean noticing how your body feels when you’re upset, or learning to pause before reacting.
Mindfulness helps people:
Notice their thoughts without getting stuck in them
Feel emotions without being controlled by them
Reduce worry about the past or future
Distress Tolerance
When something upsetting happens, it’s tempting to avoid it, lash out, or shut down. Distress tolerance skills help you survive those moments without making things worse.
These skills include:
Safe distractions (like listening to music or taking a walk)
Self-soothing (like holding a warm drink or taking a deep breath)
And my personal favourite, radical acceptance! Which is essentially accepting what you cannot change (A.K.A. the Let Them Theory mentioned above). Pretty much every one of Stacey’s clients have heard her talk about radical acceptance.
Emotion Regulation
This skill set helps people understand where their feelings come from and how to handle them. Instead of pushing emotions away or getting stuck in them, you learn to work with them.
Emotion regulation includes:
Building positive experiences
Learning how sleep, food, and exercise affect mood
Interpersonal Effectiveness
Even the best relationships have conflict. This skill area helps people know when to set boundaries and when to prioritize the relationship, and how to do so in a way that will be more likely to get your needs met and less likely to make you feel guilty afterwards.
These skills can lead to:
Stronger relationships with family, friends, and partners
Less guilt or resentment after hard conversations
Confidence in standing up for yourself calmly
The Evidence: Does DBT Really Work?
Yes. DBT is one of the most researched therapies available today. Studies show that DBT can:
Reduce suicidal thoughts and self-harming
Improve depression and anxiety
Help people stay in treatment longer
Strengthen emotional coping skills
Improve relationships and communication
In one long-term study of adults with borderline personality disorder, participants who completed DBT reported fewer hospitalizations, fewer suicide attempts, and better daily functioning.¹
How Long Does DBT Take?
DBT is very easily modifiable, and most of the time we don’t find that you need to have the full protocol. Most often, we teach a skill or two per session within talk therapy and monitor to ensure you’re finding improvement in your life. Clients who like DBT tend to do well with transitioning to maintenance therapy (less frequent sessions but over an extended time period) to remind you to keep using the skills that you learned.
When to Consider DBT for Yourself or Your Child
If you or someone in your family often feels out of control emotionally or struggles with impulsive behaviours, DBT might be a helpful path forward.
You don’t need a certain diagnosis to benefit from DBT. What matters most is a willingness to learn, grow, and practice new skills, even when it’s hard.
If you’ve tried other forms of therapy without success, DBT can offer a fresh approach that blends validation with real change. And if you’re unsure whether it’s the right fit, that’s okay too, talking with a therapist can help you explore your options.
Building a Better Relationship with Your Emotions
At its heart, DBT helps people build a healthier relationship with their emotions and with themselves. It doesn’t promise perfection or quick fixes. Instead, it offers structure, compassion, and practical tools for real life.
Whether you’re navigating your own emotional challenges or supporting a child through theirs, DBT can help bring calm to the chaos and hope to the hard days.
If this post has helped you understand more about DBT, or sparked questions about whether it’s right for you, we invite you to connect with us.
We offer a free 15-minute consultation with our therapists for you to learn more, ask questions, and see if DBT might be the support you’ve been looking for.
Your healing journey can start with one conversation.
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