CW Therapy's Go-To DBT Skills (And Why We Use Them So Often)
- CW Therapy
- Mar 25
- 6 min read
There’s a reason we come back to Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) again and again at CW Therapy.
Originally developed by Marsha Linehan, DBT was designed to support people experiencing intense emotions and chronic distress. Over time it has become one of the most practical skills based therapies we use. Not just for high intensity emotions, but also for anxiety, depression, relationship conflict, burnout, impulsivity, and that general feeling of “why can’t I change?”
What we love about DBT is that it doesn’t just focus on talking about your problems. It gives practical, hands-on tools you can use in the moment. When emotions spike, when communication breaks down, or when life just feels overwhelming, DBT helps you respond instead of react.
If you’re newer to DBT and want a deeper dive into what it is, including the four core modules, who it can help, and what makes it different from other therapy types, you can read our full breakdown here:
For now, let’s look at some of the DBT Skills our therapists find themselves teaching most often, and why they make such a difference.
Michael: “When I engage with clients using a DBT approach, one of my favorite interventions is the chain analysis. Chain analysis is a powerful awareness-building tool that helps clients gain insight into a problem behavior they are trying to change. It’s based on the understanding that all behavior, even those we label as problematic, occurs within a specific emotional, mental, and situational context. By carefully identifying the events, thoughts, emotions, and urges that lead up to and follow a behavior, clients begin to uncover the function that behavior serves: what need it is meeting, and what it may be a solution to. I find this especially impactful with clients working on substance use, self-harm, or difficulties in communication. Once this deeper understanding is in place, it opens the door to learning and practicing new DBT skills that can eventually replace the problematic behavior, allowing clients to meet their needs in healthier, more effective ways.”
Diane: “I like the Check The Facts emotional regulation skill. This skill is especially helpful when clients express big emotions about situations where they are feeling judged. Many times, the intensity of the emotion comes from an interpretation rather than the situation itself. I’ll ask clients to describe the paintings on the wall and have them separate the observable facts from their perception of them. This simple exercise helps them see how quickly we fill in the gaps with our own stories. Youth especially find this impactful. It helps them recognize when they are making assumptions about a situation and how those assumptions shape their emotional response.”
Victoria: “One of my favourite DBT skills is Opposite Action. I often explain how our emotions and our action urges reinforce each other in a cycle. When we feel sad, we withdraw; when we withdraw, we tend to feel even sadder. DBT teaches that if we want to shift the emotion, we sometimes have to start by shifting the behaviour. So if sadness is telling us to lay around and do nothing, and we want to move toward feeling lighter, we intentionally do something our happier self would do, like going for a walk or reaching out to someone.
I also talk about the importance of practicing this skill fully: not just changing the action, but also adjusting thoughts, posture, tone, and gestures. When clients lean all the way in, they often notice the negative cycle gradually weakening while a more positive emotional cycle begins to build.”
Elena: “I'm big on the TIPP skill (temperature, intense exercise, paced breathing, progressive muscle relaxation). This skill is super useful for moments when emotions are at that 8, 9 or 10/10 intensity. These are situations that can feel completely out of control. TIPP gives clients something concrete to do right away, which often creates a powerful sense of empowerment. Instead of being swept away in the intensity of their emotions, they have a way to steady themselves. I also talk about how learning to manage intense emotional experiences is essential for psychological health. There is real value in moving through tough emotions, even when that feels uncomfortable, rather than avoiding them altogether. Avoidance often creates its own set of problems. I often say that TIPP is a starting point. It helps clients start the practice of moving away from reacting automatically and toward responding more intentionally when emotions run high.”
Rachel: "I love the DBT skill Clarifying Goals in Interpersonal Situations because it helps shift interactions from impulsive, emotion-driven reactions to intentional and mindful communication. Pause and ask yourself: What matters most here? Is it getting what I want? Preserving the relationship? Maintaining my self-respect? By clarifying your goals, you’re less likely to say something you regret, more likely to get your needs met, and better able to protect both your relationships and your integrity!"
Valerie: "In my work with children and teens, I often tell youth to feel your feelings. This means noticing your emotions, allowing them to be there, and getting curious about them instead of immediately trying to push them away or escape them. I talk about how emotions move like waves. They rise, they peak, and they fall when we give them the space to do that. A big part of the skill is helping pause long enough to observe the emotion, name what they're feeling, notice where it shows up in their body, and allow it to pass without reacting in a way they might regret later.
Lindsay: "My favourite DBT skill is Dialectics. Helping support folks in understanding that two truths, or two feelings, can occur at the same time, even if they seem to be opposites, can be so validating, supportive and freeing! We often go through the world operating in black and white, finding comfort with things being "this way or that way", or people as "good or bad". Dialectics invites us to lean into the grey area and understand that more than one truth or feeling can occur simultaneously, that they can compete with each other and this can be okay. This skill has been so validating for those healing from trauma but also for those dealing with major challenges in life!"
Stacey: "My favourite DBT skill is Radical Acceptance, which is the skill of fully accepting our reality without trying to change or control it, even when we don't like it. So much of our actions are pushing against reality, where we try to change things that are outside of our control. The most simple example of this is how Canadians often complain about the weather.
Acceptance is not the same as allowing or being passive - we do not have to accept every situation, and we still focus on what we can control, such as setting boundaries. It's called radical because it is often the exact opposite of what our urge is to do, and it's not easy! It's worth doing because when we struggle against reality, we still don't change the situation, we just add to our suffering."
What all of These Skills Have in Common
If you notice a pattern, it’s this: DBT is practical.
These skills are not abstract ideas. They are teachable, repeatable strategies that help clients understand their emotions, interrupt unhelpful cycles, and build new patterns over time. Whether it’s slowing down a behaviour through chain analysis, checking the facts before assumptions take over, shifting an emotional cycle with opposite action, or regulating an intense spike with TIPP, the goal is the same. Build awareness, increase choice, and strengthen response over action.
At CW Therapy, we use DBT with children, teens, adults, parents, first responders, and professionals navigating high stress roles. If you often find yourself thinking “Why do I react like that”, or “Why do I keep repeating this pattern?” DBT offers a framework that makes those patterns make sense and gives you tools to change them.
Change does not happen because someone tells you to calm down. It happens when you understand what is driving your reactions and have the skills to do something different.
If you are curious about whether DBT could support you or your family, we would love to connect. Reach out to book a consultation, or explore our services to find a therapist who feels like the right fit. You do not have to figure this out on your own.
